Why is Tracking Calories So Difficult? And What to Do About it
Tracking calories is such a hot button in the diet world.
People often want to know if it is a requirement to lose weight.
My answer: no.
I believe listening to your body gives us feedback all the time and its cues for simple things- like hunger and fullness- can be one of the most effective ways to “track” for weight loss.
However, when we look at nourishing your body, as a whole, there are some things that you need (think the quality of your intake) that are more difficult to *feel* if you’re getting enough of them.
For many, this can create too much ambiguity to feel confident transitioning from a strict diet to something like Intuitive Eating, even though you’re drawn to it.
The challenge for most of my clients, having done so many different types of diets, they have developed a strong opinion about tracking.
They either use it as a way to control what they eat- not going over 1249 calories/day- or resent it all together.
The reason tracking feels so bad for my clients is that they’ve often had the experience of being scrutinized for what they didn’t know.
It’s like the dream (or nightmare) of not having studied for a big exam (only me?).
It creates a lot of pressure and shame within them and they shut down their feminine energy.
Without their feminine energy, they’re left going through the motions, never actually learning the information because they’re using all their mental capacity to keep them away from humiliation.
No one wants busy work, especially when it leaves you feeling bad.
But what they need to do is relieve the pressure they experience in their inner world by narrating a new story.
This requires masculine energy- the part of our mind that is consciously aware of what’s happening.
The reason they feel so much pressure is that their own masculine energy is often wounded.
This results in a harsh, critical tone with which they *hear* what’s happening.
Often, the emotional part of them (a younger version of our feminine energy- their “Inner Child”) has no better options than to shut down and hide because it feels so awful to listen to that kind of feedback all the time.
This is also the exact reason they aren’t able to capture the data they need from tracking either- they only want to be seen as “good” and therefore only track the food they know would give them an A on this test.
(You’re not alone in this- research has shown this is instinctively how most humans respond to tracking).
It becomes a pass/fail scenario with “passing” keeping them on a hamster wheel and “failing” leaving them very unsafe.
But, what if, instead of it being a test, it was a game you couldn’t lose.
The point of the game was not about the numbers, it was about noticing the way you felt when you shared it.
Sometimes it feels jarring to see what is actually happening and yet having a healthy empowered voice (your own inner dialog) to reframe it to be of service to your growth, will allow you to be more honest about what is happening.
I have seen many people make a shift in their relationship with tracking and what they all had in common was a feeling of safety to be honest with themselves so they could pinpoint what to change.
This feels vulnerable because it requires a willingness to see things differently so that you can experience things differently.
It’s like a woman who goes into dating wanting to be in a loving relationship and yet, fundamentally, has a hard time believing it’s possible after so many dates and no partner.
Unconsciously, she often finds herself working really hard to have him like her instead of being able to see if he is someone SHE feels good being around.
This is the shift toward feminine energy.
It is a natural shift in the dynamic that puts her back on her own team.
Her only “job” on a date is to notice how a man is trying to give to her and how she feels.
Healthy masculine energy wants to provide and protect- this can be a kind word, a reassuring smile, opening the door- anything that puts her at ease.
Healthy men seem to instinctively know that the more relaxed a woman is in his presence, the more of herself she is willing to share.
And this feels good to him- to be trusted with the real her.
This might feel unnatural to just receive what is being offered but it allows her nervous system to relax- or gives her the best chance of it- and gives her an idea of how easy or difficult this task is for her.
The same is true with tracking your food.
It is meant to give you a snapshot of what you’re used to receiving and the more openly you can share what’s true for you, the better your chances of getting what you want.
You can objectively see if it *feels* “easy” or “difficult” for you to get what your body needs and gives you a sense of how to adjust so you can get more of what you need.
Getting more of what you need will naturally allow your body to function optimally and settle into a healthy rhythm where it is willing to release more of what it doesn’t need- weight, tension, and discomfort.
I don’t require tracking for all my clients, but nourishing your body is a skill you can practice and, regardless of how you prefer to learn, having your own inner detective will help you “win” the game.
You literally can’t fail this test because there’s no grading involved.
And when you drop the meaning you gave it, tracking can be one more way of increasing your own awareness and supporting your weight loss journey.
It’s simply a tool to support you in getting what you need as you begin to trust your body to lead the way when it comes to portions.
These “relationships” may seem small but every step we take to relieve pressure reduces the resistance to things that help you create the body that reflects who you authentically are.
And this is what I specialize in.
In my program Nourished, I share the top 6 emotional shifts women make on their way to mastering their eating.
It consists of 6 modules for self-study with the option of 1:1 coaching support to personalize the transformational material to meet your specific needs.
-Over 8 weeks, you will heal the way you approach things like your previous attempts to lose weight, tracking, and weighing yourself- some of the most common triggers for long-term weight loss.
-You will learn what healthy masculine energy looks and sounds like so you can leverage this part of yourself in supporting your journey.
-By healing your relationship with your own masculine energy, your feminine energy will naturally shine the way, making eating more intuitive and pleasurable.
-Since your empowered masculine and feminine energies are online and in support of your goal, it will be easier to neutralize your inner child- the part of you that may have been derailing your progress with intense cravings for sweets and impatience for the outcome. Calming this part of yourself will allow you to stay in the process, which is always the “way” to get where you want to go.
-As a bonus, I include tips for making meal planning work for you and how to apply it if you have a family or live alone so it supports you instead of becoming a full-time job.
The women who create the best results from this are creative and naturally “people-oriented”, they tend to give a lot of their care and attention to others and desire to put their own health higher on their to-do list without being pushed into “overdrive”.
They have lost weight in the past but seem to keep losing and regaining the same 5-20(+) pounds are ready to create a healthier relationship with food.
They have participated in exercise programs before and yet they want their body to reflect who they are on the inside more than they are motivated by a number on the scale.
She is willing to explore her own emotional experience and open to integrating her own masculine and feminine energies to support her wellbeing.
If Nourished feels like a good fit, you can start the self-study work here and fill out the application to work with me and let me know what stood out to you from this post and we can discuss options for support.
Check out my free, women's only FB group Be Nourished Group (https://www.facebook.com/groups/1200810270096316/) for more intimate conversations about intuitive eating, women’s wellness, your relationship with food, and creating healthy relationships using your feminine energy.
