How to Help Your Partner/Family Support Your Health

A sticky spot for most people when they’re trying to lose weight or make any changes to their health is their partner/family.

It's easy to think “he doesn’t need to lose weight, it doesn’t feel fair to eliminate all the things they enjoy”.

So you go on “hearing” the cookies whisper your name from the pantry, suffering in solitude or subtly blaming your partner when you give in to indulgence.

I’ve heard this so many times and in so many flavors.

(This may be why people experience their spouse as “cranky” when they're on a “diet”).

It is true on one hand, there is a certain amount of personal responsibility needed to take your health seriously.

But what most people don’t take into account is there’s a parallel reality- an option to have your spouse and family on your team.

This is simply a conversation you need to have not a life or death situation (like your inner child would have you believe).

Maybe you assume that the answer will be “no” or that your family will feel the way you would feel in that situation.

Instead of having the (maybe awkward) conversation, you create a vacuum around yourself and wish it could be easier but no one comes to the rescue.

It takes courage to enter into these conversations because we have to reveal part of ourselves to those closest to us and ask for something… we make ourselves vulnerable.

But this has two benefits, first, it allows you the opportunity to ask for support- which increases the likelihood of you getting it- and second, gives you clarity so you can take the next best step.

If you were to throw out all the cookies and snack food at once without telling anyone, they might have the response you’re expecting.

However, if you were to come to your partner/family and say something like, “I’m feeling really excited to try a new way of eating, I want to feel healthier and plan to change some things with my eating habits. I would like your support, specifically in helping keep the pantry full of healthy options. Are there healthy versions of your favorite snacks so we can both feel good about doing this?” you may get the feedback you’re actually needing (like what they can offer in the way of support or ideas for snacks you hadn't even considered).

In my experience, when we have the conversations we feel afraid to have, they typically don’t go the way we imagined.

Worst case scenario, your request may trigger your partner.

Their inner child may feel uncomfortable about the idea of letting go of the things that taste good but that they know don’t support their health… (just a guess- “junk food” is a polarizing topic for some).

It might take some time for them to “be on board”, that’s what honesty does, it creates the space for change and that’s all you’re doing here.

Taking the next step toward where you want to go.

Best case scenario, you get to evaluate their willingness to support you- and even team up with you.

I see this all the time.

Partners want their partner to be healthy and happy.

And most, themselves, realize they benefit from it too.

Alison Armstrong says (my paraphrase) as long as we order from the menu of what we know is possible, we will continue to be served the same thing.

Meaning if you had it all your way, and you weren’t so focused on your partner’s reaction to your request, what would you ask for?

Dream big and trust your partner will rise to meet you (this is your Empowered Feminine energy).

Because, just as we can’t predict how they may respond, we also will never stand a chance at growth- into our best self and into a happier couple- if we don’t expose our desire.

This may feel uncomfortable to have a conversation at this level and yet, when you come to your partner with your feminine energy, empowered by her desired experience, they can’t help but hear you.

It activates their masculine energy, those creative juices start flowing with ideas on how to step in and support.

I see it all the time, you can be the inspiration for those around you just by how you show up.

This is the benefit of understanding masculine and feminine energies along your health journey.

These conversations will happen at different stages of the process, so it’s a skill that is valuable to start practicing.

This is the intersection of my areas of expertise and I deep dive this exact topic in my transformational masterclass, Supported.

In Supported:

• We explore the dynamic at play between masculine and feminine energies (within you and your partner) that are creating discord in your kitchen. We identify how you’ve been using yours and practices to strengthen and integrate the two so you can approach well-being with greater confidence and clarity (so you can include your relationship/family and maximize the sustainability of your plan).

• You will learn how to embody more of your feminine energy and feel supported from within (so you can face these conversations as an empowered adult) so you can begin to trust yourself in any situation to honor your limits and the boundaries you’ve placed to guide you to your goal.

• We discuss speaking authentically so you can feel congruent about asking for what you need- and receiving it.

• I dive deep into the context that has created the drama you may be experiencing and how to use that awareness to dream bigger for your health goals and include your partner in a way that empowers them to show up for you.

• There is also a meal planning resource to help you and your family streamline your efforts and meet the physical and emotional needs within the home so the kitchen feels like a fun place to grow together.

The women who create the best results from this are creative and naturally “people-oriented”, they tend to give a lot of their care and attention to others and desire to put their own health higher on their to-do list.

They are ready to create a healthier relationship with food and have their body reflect who they are on the inside more than they are motivated by a number on the scale.

She is willing to explore her own emotional experience and is open to integrating her own masculine and feminine energies to support her well-being.

If Supported describes how you want to feel.: click here to start the self study version or email me at CSchandNutrition@gmail.com and let me know what you’re most excited to learn about. I’ll ask a few questions to see what level of support you’re needing and, if 1:1 work is the right fit, we’ll get started right away!