Using Your Feelings to Find Your Way to Better Health

There’s a reason most of my clients have a cycle (usually 2-4weeks) they can “make it” on a diet before they lose interest or crave their old way of living.

It has to do with the tension they experience along the way.

They don’t know this until I ask about it.

Many simply share something along the lines of “being bored” by their plan or wondering if “it’s working”.

This triggers a deep sense of doubt within them that makes them wonder how long they can “keep this up”.

What they don’t see is that the thing that’s stronger than willpower is desire.

This is the feminine equivalent of willpower.

My mentor told me yesterday in our mastermind, “desire aligns the action”.

Meaning, the “right” actions are more likely to naturally happen when you come from the vantage point of what you want to experience.

(i.e. You’re not going to spend time driving east when you’re trying to get to the Pacific Ocean)

Most people set out on a journey that they hope takes them to where they want to go (weight loss).

They decide they need to get a map (diet), snacks (all new foods), and maybe even a travel buddy before they set out.

They hit the road full of excitement and believe “this is it!”

They’re on their way!

They take off and drive for a few days and run into the ocean- the Atlantic Ocean.

In weight loss, this looks like starting a new diet and losing weight, and then hitting a plateau.

They take it as a sign they need a new map.

Before long, they have a stack of maps in the back seat (pre smartphones ) and feel totally demoralized, thinking they’re simply “directionally challenged” (aka have no willpower).

What they don’t realize is the map is only helpful if it is in line with the compass.

In my experience, no one is willing to be told what to do for very long and it makes even less *sense* intuitively, to follow a map that they can’t tell will get them to where they want to go.

This only creates an opportunity for the rebellion/control dynamic we’re most familiar with in the diet culture.

In my experience with coaching people, willpower only lasts so long.

Then we need something else- something stronger- to come in that will keep the change going.

What they need to do is forgive themselves.

When they are frustrated their wounded feminine energy gets activated.

She sounds like “why isn’t this working?”, “maybe there’s something wrong with me”, or “I wish someone would help me/just do this for me”.

When these doubts bubble up, the wounded masculine is guaranteed to show up like a shark that smells blood in the water.

“He” becomes the only voice she can hear, with phrases like “if you weren’t so lazy...”, “I wish you would get going already”, “why are you making such a big deal about this?” making herself feel worse.

The worse she feels, the more shut down and angry she becomes.

If the wounded masculine voice is most dominant in her head, she won’t even have access to her Compass making any map (even a professionally tailored meal plan) really difficult to decipher.

For the Feminine, connection is paramount and our “feelings” (her internal compass- not emotions) are what guide her.

We *know* it as our Feminine Intuition and it’s amazingly perceptive.

The problem is this Compass gets shut down when she perceives a threat (even if it’s from within) and she will feel like she’s flying blind.

In response, her body will become tense and her behaviors will become rigid (black or white rules/all or nothing ways of thinking) instead of fluid and creative (healthy Feminine).

On the outside, she will appear to be prepping all her meals and not missing her workouts but inside her body, it feels like tension is about to burst.

She is relying on autopilot.

She does this instinctively because “coloring outside the lines” would *feel* like putting herself at risk (of hearing the WM) and she already feels out of control.

When adding an apple (or any source of carbohydrate/calories she has previously deemed “bad”) is “not worth the risk [of weight gain]”, it’s a sure ‘tell’ that her navigation system has been unplugged.

The way to begin to bring her system back online is to start to celebrate awareness more than anything else.

When she becomes aware of an old pattern, there is a split second between her masculine energy noticing “you did it again…” and her (wounded) feminine energy interpreting it as “I’m failing”.

This triggers the tension, pain cycle.

But what if we could zoom into this split-second interaction…

The way we do that is by celebrating the awareness.

It’s like dropping a pin on a map and zooming in to have a better view.

From there she will see that this awareness actually means she is in the *best* position to course-correct on her own (check the compass).

To lead herself.

Awareness is the name of the game when it comes to behavior change.

The more often she becomes aware of the old way of behaving, thinking, feeling, etc. the more opportunities she has to check her compass and course-correct as needed.

This is what creates a new habit.

Even better, it is the process to create a new neural pathway and reshape the brain to make this even more automatic moving forward (i.e. less willpower in the future).

(this is even more effective if you can share your excitement with a trusted ally)

Many women have spent a good amount of time in the pass/fail paradigm where the wounded masculine keeps short-circuiting their directional system leaving her feeling aimless and frustrated.

The more they shut themselves down by not questioning their inner dialog, the easier it is for them to override her own Compass when other people ‘need’ something from her.

This keeps her in the wounded feminine/wounded masculine indefinitely and shows up as losing and regaining the same X amount of weight.

The practice of celebrating awareness brings up resistance because, for most of us, it seems like it’s “not enough [effort] to make a difference”.

But in my experience, celebrating the awareness doesn’t burn calories, but it is enough to open a crack for the Empowered Masculine energy to come in.

This ultimately supports what she really wants (turn the map right-side-up).

The Empowered Masculine voice is the part of her that reminds her that “she’s always in the perfect spot to start again”, “the experiences she has had actually give her wisdom moving forward”, and allows her to hope again.

And most importantly that her Compass is what’s helping her reach her destination.

This allows the tension to leave her and her body to become animated again.

She has to *feel* like the map is pointing her in the right direction or it will never be something she sticks to.

In my experience, most women *know* when they are going East (eating rice cakes and protein shakes), they can sense it.

They just don’t know what else to do because it seems like they’ve tried everything out there.

The problem isn’t the food they’re choosing or even the direction they’re heading; it's that they are trusting the map more than the Compass.

They have never been told that the best-made map needs a compass or you can still be headed in the wrong direction.

I suggest to them this is a new opportunity to allow themself to receive support… from within (and begin asking for different types of support on the outside).

When she hits a plateau and feels discouraged, I point her back to the Compass (her desires), not the map (her diet) so that it becomes more integrated and less likely to be overridden.

But this can happen, no matter what part of the journey.

Even when the compass is integrated like in a smartphone, we all have the experience of a GPS saying “go west on US- ##W” and you’re at a four-way stop (grrrrr don’t even get me started!).

“West” doesn’t make sense when you need a “left, right, or straight ahead”.

Celebrating awareness is choosing to hear the voice of the Empowered Masculine (“take a right, here if you’re wanting to go west”) when you feel stuck.

Learning how to support yourself from within is the way to keep moving forward.

The women that I’ve seen be most successful at navigating their health and really getting all they want out of the experience have done this.

They speak differently than women who are on autopilot.

This is counterintuitive and this is my specialty.

I help women learn how to use their Compass with the right map to get going in the direction that *feels* right for them.

In my transformational online program, Nourished, we do this.

You will learn the basics of masculine and feminine energy to begin balancing the two both inside and out.

In Module 2 we deep dive Masculine energy- what it can be vs how we typically experience it- so this powerful force can make your experience feel smoother and more supported.

Module 3 goes deeper into Feminine energy, the source of desire, and the Compass.

Module 4 is all about the Inner Child, the rawest, emotional part of you that is usually most difficult for people to manage. You will learn its basic needs and how to care for them differently using your Masculine and Feminine (adult) energy to get the best results.

Module 5 shifts your perspective on the most common challenges people run into based on my years of coaching- this includes triggers like the scale, knowing what to eat, exercise, and tracking.

Module 6 gives you Nutrition 101 (basic topography ) so you know the lay of the land. This is where you will get clear on what map you need and how to get started now that you understand the directional instruments.

Each module contains 2 worksheets for deeper clarity and 2 guided healing exercises to be led through a powerful shift in perspective.

The content can be done at your own pace and, if you are wanting to add 1:1 support, I am available via voice message for up to 6 weeks in addition to 1:1 coaching sessions.

The women that create the best results from this are naturally creative, intuitive, and curious about how their inner and outer worlds correspond.

She has tried many different diets in the past and often lost the same 10-25+ lbs only to regain it again and feel confused.

She feels empowered in many other areas of her life but is ready to create a calm, healthy dynamic with food that doesn’t have to do with the scale.

If this feels like what you’ve been looking for, email me (CSchandNutrition@gmail.com) and let me know what you just became aware of so I can celebrate it with you (double the effect!). We will make sure 1:1 support is the right fit and lay out a game plan to get you started right away!