A Goal is a Dream with a Deadline, Right?

One of the painful relationships that spill over into the way we eat when it comes to weight loss is our relationship with time.

So many of my clients, myself included, have a tendency to come to the table with their goal- in this case to create a healthy relationship with food- and, as they get started in the process, find themselves feeling really disappointed with their “progress”.

Disappointment is painful.

This feeling typically leads them to think “it’s not working” and want to shift to a new diet.

But what they need to do is to sink into the feeling they’re experiencing in their body.

To allow the anxiety, the “what ifs”, the deep sadness that they are not where they’d like to be to be expressed with their whole body.

This could look like simply identifying where in her body she feels the sensation of this emotion and writing about it, dancing or giving yourself “permission” to release it.

Often our body carries old emotional experiences that come up as a way of keeping us from going the wrong way again.

However, when left unhealed, this is simply the child version of yourself steering your car.

The reason the experience of not being where she wants to be, in my experience, is so triggering is that they’ve often had a lot of experience with a wounded masculine energy- telling them they “must not really want X or they’d be doing Y (behaving differently)”.

This trigger gets activated each time they pass the threshold they set for themselves as an “acceptable” amount of time.

While I don’t think it’s wise for your emotional wellbeing to continue beating your head on the same wall when you can walk around it, I do see this nasty voice come up often.

This voice has a lot of power over their inner child, keeping *her* feeling small and lost.

It’s easy to feel ashamed and shut down and, for most of my clients, this is when they reach out for my support.

But this voice is simply an illusion.

The voice of the wounded masculine creates closure in her body… constriction as if shielding from the inner pain it creates.

Releasing this pressure actually creates an opening for her to have access to her emotions so they can be expressed in a way that supports her health instead of creating emotional cycles of all or nothing thinking.

What is really happening is she is challenging the status quo, stepping into the unknown, and growing.

She has two options, she can take the route she’s been many times- believing because she hasn’t met her goal yet, she’s failing.

Or she can use this as an opportunity to heal this emotional experience and allow her to move forward freely.

The women I’ve seen be most successful have a different relationship with time.

They understand that “success” is not a straight line to the top, but rather, a spiral staircase.

Each step is a step up and in the right direction which allows them to see the step in front of them even if it feels like they’re spiraling “backward”.

This simple shift allows them to not be devastated by that nasty voice when it inevitably comes up, because they can accept that there is a process… they are going to be eating and living in their body for the rest of their life so they actually do have “all the time in the world” to learn how to love it.

This level of emotional availability seems like it would be more chaotic and yet, with the expectation that triggers lead to new (helpful) levels of awareness and, ultimately, growth, they can care for their inner child through the storm in a way that builds trust within herself.

These women seem to have mastered their relationship to food as well when they settle into the belief that it will take as long as it takes instead of tying their emotional wellbeing to a number- on the scale or a date on the calendar.

This is the benefit of healing the relationship with the Empowered Masculine and Feminine within ourselves.

The more a woman heals her relationship with her own masculine energy, by learning to express her emotions in an empowered way, the more she will be able to move through the experiences that used to feel like she was stuck.

Instead of going through the motions of her diet (any diet), adding pressure in the form of time, she is able to create space to be with and express the emotions she experiences which act as her navigation.

This actually allows her to move more effectively because she is emotionally available to use her Empowered Feminine energy- her intuition and her Empowered Masculine energy to act in her best interest.

It is counterintuitive and yet this is my area of expertise.

In my transformational program, Nourished, you will learn how to heal the relationship with the masculine energy so it is being used in support of your goals.

Tap into and more deeply embody the wisdom of your feminine energy, learning to express your emotions so they aren’t derailing your progress.

When the masculine and feminine are in balance, they create a stable, trusting relationship to support your biggest dreams which are often on the other side of “those last 10 lb” (i.e. starting that business, putting your work into the world, finding a loving relationship, etc).

In a series of 6 modules, I share 6+ emotional shifts- like the relationship we have with time- that women make as they heal their relationship with food and their body.

It is available on self-study or with additional layers of 1:1 coaching to unpack residual baggage that’s keeping you from having a healthy relationship with food.

The women who create the best results from this are ready to create a healthy relationship with food more than they are motivated by a number on the scale.

They have usually lost and regained the same 5-20(+) pounds and want to keep it off but find themselves sliding back into old habits when they “go off” of a diet.

They are open-minded and creative; willing to look inside herself and explore her own masculine and feminine energy in order to create healthier relationships in all areas of her life.

They are successful in many areas of their life and usually have a strong pull toward personal development and healing- having worked to heal deep trauma but haven't found a way to integrate it into the area of their health and wellness.

Email me (CSchandNutrition@gmail.com) and let me know what insights came to you about your relationship with time and if 1:1 support feels like a good fit, we can get started right away!