How Not “Sucking in” Can Increase Attraction

There’s a belief most women I work with have… They are either overt about it- drawing attention to it right away- or they are more subtle and it comes out later in the conversation.

Either way, it is used as an entrance into our secret society as women… don’t believe me? Walk into a group of women and just listen for 5 minutes.

On some level, most women believe that our body (usually a specific part) is the reason men are attracted to us or not.

That it makes us more or less worthy of receiving affection, admiration, and acceptance.

One of the breathing exercises I use starts by having a woman place their hand on their belly and let it fall into their hand and 100% of the time they say it was the most triggering part of the exercise.

The tendency is to “suck in”.

Until we heal this belief, their midsection will remain an immovable obstacle to a woman feeling like her most attractive self.

Your torso houses a large portion of the equipment that keeps you alive.

In addition to that, for many women, their midsection becomes the home for 9 months for the precious beings you bring into your life.

For those without children, many eastern traditions place the “core” of your own psycho/emotional development and all of your creative capacity and desires in your upper and lower abdomen… your “gut”.

And yet, for most western cultures we’ve come to believe this is the least desirable part of us.

But what many women don’t understand is that this space is like our portal to receive the nourishment we need most, both physically and emotionally.

The reason I have my clients practice softening this area is this is one of the most feminine spaces on her body.

The fastest route to connecting to her feminine energy.

The place she is naturally curvy and soft… inviting and receptive.

To have it tense and sucked in keeps her in her masculine energy, on guard, and disconnected from her beautiful vulnerability.

The myth that a man will be less attracted to her because of her midsection is created by women (men, feel free to back me up on this!).

What I know to be true is we will not let ourselves have that which we judge.

Instinctively, as humans, we will keep a distance from the things we believe are not safe.

Not accepting love in and for this part of our body is simply a way of keeping ourselves safe, on some level, from disappointment.

Staying in the judgment of our own body means we will not want to be “in it”, experiencing life with our sensations.

Women are naturally intuitive, being able to sense when things are “off” or when she needs to speak up for herself.

Without this connection to her body, she will have a difficult time setting boundaries, asking for what she needs, and removing herself from situations that are not in her best interest.

The truth is, masculine energy men are far less concerned with the shape of our bodies than with our ability to express our feminine energy and to receive them.

They *feel* attracted to women of all shapes and sizes.

If she has the courage to risk hearing the answer, the odds are actually higher that her man doesn’t hate- or even notice (except for how much attention we give to it)- this part of her as much as she does.

Not only does sucking in not allow a woman to be her most attractive but it is very difficult to accept love when we are trying to hide parts of ourselves (ask me how I know).

It’s nearly impossible to be present with and receive the love, affection, and attention from a man (or anyone) when your body remains stiff and tight, confined by your own judgments.

This behavior blocks her from one of the most nourishing experiences on earth, authentic connection.

What a woman needs to do is sink into her own femininity to allow this belief to heal.

She has to begin allowing herself to experience the emotions her beliefs create (i.e. “my midsection makes me unattractive” isn’t usually a belief we’d want our daughters to inherit).

This might look like feeling her cheeks get red, feeling her heart sink, feeling angry or sad.

Allowing her body to sink into this experience until she releases this from her body.

This isn’t about stopping core strengthening exercises- they are critical for supporting all the amazing things that happen in your midsection I mentioned before- this is about letting go of the belief that this part of you is somehow a flaw.

Releasing these emotions makes more room for encouragement.

When you begin to make peace with your body, you treat it better.

When a woman lets go of the emotions that sucking in has kept her from having to feel, she is more empowered to take the actions necessary to create the desired change.

It’s like taking your foot off the brake pedal.

There’s no amount of gas you can give (crunches, low carb meals, cardio, etc) that will be as effective as releasing the brakes (your repetitive emotional response).

The more comfortable she is softening into her experience and releasing the judgments she has about herself, the more easily she will be able to take the actions that support her goals.

Her body is her greatest asset when it comes to managing weight and living a vibrant life.

It provides honest, individualized feedback about what she needs, and yet it’s often the most difficult for her to trust.

Learning to receive feedback and release judgments from her body allows her to fully express herself in the world and create the body she feels represents her.

...To show up and be seen as the powerful woman she is.

Rebuilding the trust between a woman and her body can feel like navigating a deep betrayal and requires more than a diet prescription, this is my specialty.

I have a transformational self-study course called Nourished to help women heal their relationship with their body, femininity, and food.

In a series of 5 online modules, you will learn how to balance your masculine and feminine energies to support your health.

*You will get clear on what works and doesn’t for you, based on your own experience; let go of the ways those experiences are holding you back and how to use them to propel you forward.

*Connect with your own empowered masculine energy- the part of you that gets you moving and supports your goals, both mentally and physically.

*Activate your feminine energy, heal the relationship you have with your body, and engage in practices that allow you to receive the data you need to establish trust again within your body.

*Heal the experience of the inner child, reconnecting *her* with your empowered masculine and feminine energies so you can begin the process of “reparenting” yourself to provide the structure and support your goals need.

*Tie it all together so that you can navigate the most common challenges (plateaus, uncontrollable appetite, old patterns and stories, portions, etc) differently.

Bonus: meal planning tips, resources, and strategies to get support from those closest to you so you can grow together instead of doing it alone.

The women who create the best results from this are ready to create a healthy relationship with food more than they are motivated by a number on the scale.

They have usually lost and regained the same 5-20(+) pounds and want to keep it off but find themselves sliding back into old habits when they “go off” of a diet.

They are open-minded and creative; willing to look inside herself and explore her own masculine and feminine energy in order to create healthier relationships in all areas of her life.

They usually have a strong pull toward healing and have often worked to heal deep trauma but haven't found a way to integrate it into the area of their health and wellness.

Email me (CSchandNutrition@gmail.com) and let me know what comes up for you with this and the level of support you’re looking for 1:1. I’ll ask some questions to make sure this is the right fit and we will get started right away.