Are Your Boundaries Showing?

One of the indicators of emotional maturity is where a woman’s boundaries lie.

Are they inside of her or outside?

Their location will determine the quality of her connections as well as her ability to move through her life with courage, confidence, and a sense of peace.

For most of my clients, their boundaries will be on the outside, at least in the beginning.

These are rules she follows.

They come from society, the health industry, family, her spiritual understanding and community, and what’s expected from her in her mind to uphold these ways of being.

As long as she complies, she stays “safe”.

But women will run into intense discomfort when the rubber meets the metaphoric road throughout their life.

This will show up in “gray” situations like how and when to speak with an ex, when to let go of a connection, knowing when to invest in more training versus believing she has enough to give already, etc.

She will often feel compelled to “poll the audience” or seek coaching support to validate an answer that seems “right”.

She finds herself at the fork in the road- does she put more faith in her rules or can she trust herself to navigate in a way that honors her values?

It’s not an EITHER/OR most of the time.

In my experience, this is the process of boundaries coming inside.

When boundaries become integrated the answer often matures into an “AND”.

This is the voice of a woman that has Empowered her Feminine energy.

When a woman’s boundaries move inside, it frees her to be on a diet AND enjoy the cake her friend made for her, speak with an ex AND not fall back into his arms if it’s not best for her, lead an active lifestyle AND take a rest day.

This is possible because she has stopped shaming herself for the decisions she makes.

She trusts her decisions because she knows she is capable of dealing with the outcome.

She trusts that by knowing what is true and in integrity for her, she becomes a homing beacon for the people capable of healthy connections with her.

She understands that her boundaries help her create the best life experience possible.

In this way, she steps into full responsibility for her life.

This requires a woman to have activated her own Empowered Masculine energy.

This is the part of her that is capable of enforcing the consequences (i.e. her removing herself) for violating her boundaries.

Without this key shift, she will not feel safe enough to reveal her heart fully and share her inner truth with confidence and conviction.

Instead, she will remain in a state of dependence (the “rule follower”) or hyper independence (not able to receive helpful feedback), neither of which creates collaborative, interdependent relationships.

A woman can only lead with her heart open and available when she can trust that she is supported.

Without support, she will feel unstable and therefore unsafe.

In order to create a sense of safety, she will become a chameleon using external cues to know how to operate in the world.

This is instinctive.

The tension she experiences in her body will be too much to override without a higher perspective.

This higher perspective is what she’s seeking when she reaches out for everyone’s opinion, but she may not realize she’s looking for it within.

This is why empowering her masculine energy (her thoughts) is the first step in shifting her outcomes.

When her masculine energy is empowered, she will be more aware of her natural patterns and how she typically responds to tension arising in her body.

She is able to witness the tension and reframe her perspective into one that relieves enough tension for her to see clearly and therefore discern what is the most appropriate action to take.

This is what it means to support herself from within.

There is a huge shift that occurs when a woman realizes that feeling safe is something she has the ability to create within.

This frees her from reacting to life and being overly dependent on others for her sense of safety.

The more safety she creates internally, the more authentic connections she will be able to engage in externally.

Trust requires vulnerability and time.

For most of my clients, their transformation hinges on the willingness to heal the relationship she has with her own masculine energy.

She will eventually heal the relationship with many men in her world and see how they transform in front of her eyes but first, she must learn how to repair trust within.

This looks like learning to feel the tension in her body with curiosity.

As she melts into this fear, she will often recognize how many decisions she has made from this feeling.

This is a beautiful thing to realize because it allows her to make choices that honor her own values.

The more she recognizes her fears, the more she can course correct to help her move in the right direction for her.

Each time she does this, she invests in her internal “trust bank” until she is able to wager a good amount on any situation life throws at her.

This is the most secure and powerful position for her to experience.

Over time, this will lessen the fear of “breaking the rules” as well as “misstepping” because each moment is a decision based on her needs and values.

She is in integrity.

I have a new transformational course, Arise, for women that want to reach their fullest potential in life and experience all the love they desire.

In 4 modules, we will:

-Uncover the reasons you have been finding it hard to trust yourself and reconnect with the most trustworthy “parts” of yourself.

-Shift the dynamic with your own thoughts (masculine energy) so that it creates a safe, consistent environment for you to calibrate to.

-Identify and create empowering connections out in the world so you can experience more ease and love in all your relationships- from friendships to romance.

-Heal the relationship with masculine energy so that you can intuitively engage with empowered men (identifiers for “safe and healthy” candidates)- professionally, personally, or romantically- in a way that brings out the best in both of you.

The women that create the best results from Arise are ambitious creative women that desire more intimate connections in their life.

They feel distracted from their dreams (relationship, career, health, etc.) by busyness and want to create more time for self-expression.

They would like to feel more clarity about their next steps and find themselves filled with self-doubt when they are faced with a decision.

This is intended to support women desiring to be in healthy partnerships and feel scared or mired down before/in the dating phase.

Arise would also be incredibly supportive for reviving relationships that feel stale or draining to move toward balance and growth.

If 1:1 support feels like the best fit, email me at CSchandNutrition@gmail.com and let me know what area of your life you’re wanting to uplevel so we can decide a timeline to get started.