What's in it for me??
A few years ago I had a yoga teacher suggest focusing not only on getting into the pose but also getting into the pose- looking at it from the inside and finding something new to experience.
Imagine how wine connousuers can detect subtle "notes" and "hints" of flavors that the untrained tongue may gloss over.
Sure, they may have a super sensitive tongue and, either way, it is trained to slow down and "look" for these subtlties.
What if we went through life like a wine tasting?
What notes would you pick up on?
Would you find the bitterness of resentment?
Or the sweet hint of tender connection?
I practice the belief that every interaction and situation is meant to teach me something.
This tiny shift has made a world of difference and can instantly shift me from a potential pity party into a more empowered vibe.
There are times I find myself experiencing more friction than good feelings within my interactions.
If you’re there too, there's a tip I want to teach you to become the wine connoisseur of your own life.
This is actually one of the fastest ways to get into your feminine energy and experience more of what you want. Ready?
Step one: Set the intention to slow down and soak in the experience. Sure, this sounds nice and woo woo- if you’re going to a yoga convention you may do this but the reality is the art of being is a very feminine quality. It’s our gift to the busy world. Our super power if you will.
And performance psychology has shown that if we know how we want to feel and act, we’re more likely to follow that course.
Step two: Ask yourself, "What is this man/person trying to offer me?"
This may be challenging- especially if you have some heat building up with someone so practice on people that don’t have much skin in the game (i.e. the grocery bagger, the person in the elevator, the Uber driver, etc.).
I believe people are designed to give to each other.
And, for the most part, they try* to do it from a good (even if it’s misunderstood*) place.
If I deeply want to give/connect to you and you receive me or my offering, it feels like a gift in return.
Think about how good you feel when you give something to a friend and they light up.
And vice versa, the cycle is completed and consistent.
In my observation, the hang up happens when one party or the other is closed off to receiving, the cycle of giving and receiving breaks down
Step three: Offer appreciation. This may sound simple, but it’s not always easy and yet it is critical if you want to stay open to receiving more of what you want.
Masculine energy runs on acknowledgement and appreciation.
Remember, anything being given to you is coming from a masculine energy at the root.
Find the part that you choose to receive- whether it's his "honesty", "thoughts", "opening the door", "a smile”, “acknowledging you", etc. and simply tell them how it impacted you.
It could be a simple “thank you for holding the elevator”, “when you smile at me, it brightens my day”, or “I appreciate you making reservations, it feels so special to be treated to dinner”
By acknowledging the ways someone is trying to give something to you, you are honoring their existence and opening yourself up to more connection and ultimately, more "good" things.
Who doesn’t want to be around someone they feel good around?
This isn’t a manipulative giving-to-get action, this is intended to be a genuine search for the positive intent this person may have deep down.
As women we tend to give a lot; sometimes to the point of exhaustion.
When you start to notice how many opportunities you have to be given to, you naturally feel your own tank topped off and can give back out of overflow.
Practice: Write down 3 examples of how you've been given to this week and notice how simply receiving and giving back appreciation shifted the dynamic.
