Why a Diet Mindset Will Keep You Fat
I’ve started to call myself a Nourishionist instead of a Dietitian lately.
What's the difference between dieting and nourishing?
It's the difference between just dating and actually experiencing love.
It's a mindset.
There are three types of people that come to me.
The people that want to lose weight, the people that are no longer successful, and the people that need some steering along their way.
I’ll call the first group the group with the “diet mindset”.
People with diet mindset are looking for rules.
They have a high sense of right and wrong that is totally beautiful in some areas, and yet is the very thing that is keeping them from bringing the fluidity that, I believe, is the secret sauce when it comes to successful "dieters".
I've spoken to thousands of people through my time as a coach and have heard the stories and there is a distinct difference between the "dieters" when they're successful vs when they are struggling and the people that are making steady progress.
The difference is process.
Health is a process.
Dating is a process.
If you ask a flower to open when it's still a seed, you will be sorely disappointed.
And if you hold a seed and give it what it needs.... you know the outcome.
It's a becoming, not a result.
The measure is as much about the skills and knowledge and experiences you've acquired as the "results" you are getting.
The number one mindset shift all of the "successful" people have alluded to is what I’ll call a "can" attitude.
An "I'm in charge here" attitude.
Not control.
And not the victim.
There's a big difference between control and feeling in charge.
It's subtle, but vastly different.
It looks like coloring outside the lines sometimes.
This is actually an advanced, mastery level skill.
To not NEED to know it all.
To take one bite at a time.
To use “mistakes” as feedback instead of punishment.
To develop a relationship with the unfolding of the process.
You may be wondering how to even get started if you find yourself in a diet mindset... here it is:
Next time you're feeling in the dumps about the amount of progress- or lack thereof- you're making toward the end goal you're hoping for, ask yourself "what CAN I do?"
It's not about doing it perfectly.
For example, at a family picnic, assess the situation- using all the knowledge you've been acquiring through your years of diet books (which I guarantee is a lot more than you give yourself credit for- and make the choice that feels the healthiest option.
Let that be enough.
I believe the weight we carry is actually the way we've learned to punish ourselves.
This shows up in our finances, our physical health, our romantic relationships, you name it.
These are the parts of us we actually starve.
It sounds counter intuitive, but by not owning the fact that you want to feel thin- because it may seem vain or you want to know that you're beautiful otherwise- you are actually withholding water from that seed and feeling upset that it's not a rose yet.
If you're nourishing yourself, even the part of you that wants to be healthy, you instinctively lean toward better choices.
And those choices allow you to move in that direction with greater ease.
I may not be the popular opinion but the people that have been most consistently successful seem to keep coming back to the drawing board and asking "ok, what CAN I do" and feeling good about their choice.
Regardless of what the "science" says, or the newest diet claims.
Half the battle is in your head.
The people that ask for a diet realize that too.
There is a common statement of “I just need to get my mind made up”
What if we can be in charge of that too?
What if we have more in-charge-ness than we think; the only thing in the way is the belief that we don’t?
That we can’t do enough.
To these people, remember, 0.1 is always greater than 0.
What can you do today?
I'd love to help you nourish your goals.
If you'd like some additional tools for shifting out of the diet mindset, leave me a comment below.
