Your 10% New Years' Resolution
It's a new year. I don't know about you, but my inbox is inundated with How-to's about setting New Years Resolutions. You know by now that I love goals- learning about them, setting them, and hearing what works for other people- but it dawned on me that they're really just like the rest of our goals except with more pressure.
Like you, I've spent most of my life being a high achiever, I am so aware of the pressure many of us put on ourselves, especially around our Resolutions. When I'm putting pressure on myself, I think it will motivate me to work harder, but the reality is, more often than not, I end up feeling deflated or paralyzed wondering if I am capable of living up to such perfection- which is not the energy that gets the results I want. Several years ago, I started to go to a practice group about empathetic communication, I learned that giving yourself some empathy is always the best first step. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is to just acknowledge the discomfort you're feeling about not being where you would like to be or thought you would be at this point. A phrase someone shared with me was "of course you feel…." This was a game changer for me. Not only does it help me identify how I'm really feeling, but also gives me direction to do something about it.
For example, one day last year I was feeling really overwhelmed and was being particularly hard on myself about my lack of “progress”. In talking with a friend, I realized, I'm not "not doing anything"- I'm actually intuitively doing what I know I need to do- resting. That made me realize that I was actually trying to relieve the pressure (that will help me move in the direction I want). Just recognizing this was a win for me! When we are in the anxious headspace, it's hard to see the forest through the trees. Maybe you can relate. However, when you're not in that mindset, you can easily think of 10 different routes to get to where you'd like to be.
Anxiety can stifle creativity. Fortunately, I have found that anxiety is just an opportunity to listen to and support yourself more. Now when I start to feel anxious, I say to myself "of course you feel anxious…." and just wait. The answer always comes to me and can provide some insight into what I'm really wanting or needing in that moment so that I can take steps to get it.
As you're setting goals for yourself this year, I would encourage you to take inventory of 3-5 things that you're already doing. If you want to lose weight this year, write down all the things you're already doing that will make it even 10% easier for you to get started. The great news is that it doesn't matter how small, the more aware you are of what you are doing, the more ground you have to build upon! Even identifying that you'd like for things to look different is a form of being proactive. If you hadn't taken that step, you couldn't take the next ones.
I've used this exercise on myself and with clients to help tie you to the here and now (instead of focusing on what didn't work in the past or what might not work in the future) and challenge the idea that you aren't capable of making some changes. The goal isn't to oversimplify or say you will have overnight success just because you drank a glass of water yesterday, but think about how differently you act when you know you can do something and have a list of examples to support it. In my experience, the way you feel about your goal can dramatically impact the outcome.
As you map out your year, think about how you can improve upon what you're already doing by even 10%. Mentally, this will keep you out of overwhelm and in-gear knowing you already have some traction.
What could you accomplish if you had 10% more energy? Or 10% less fear? The options are endless! So what are you going to do this year to take 10% better care of yourself? Let me know in the comments below.
