How to Implement Self-Awareness

On their way from healing trauma to feeling more empowered, many women get swept into an eddy of self-awareness.

Often the women that are the most determined to create the life of their dreams can find themselves diving deeper and deeper into their trauma and baggage with the hopes of “clearing enough” to attract a man.

This doesn’t send them floating on their way down the river because awareness, in this way, isn’t enough.

In the same way one would exit an eddy in the river, sometimes you need to move a few inches to the right or left to catch the current, not go further down.

It is part of the process to have new awareness, and I often tell women, “awareness is enough” but only when it is unearthed in the presence of Masculine energy (hers or a coach/therapist).

Masculine energy is a natural problem solver.

But the problem she runs into is, she often doesn’t know or trust this.

She will walk around with all this awareness but no tangible results after working with a coach or therapist (not to blame the healer).

Typically, she will stay in this eddy of self-awareness with a growing sense of overwhelm, feeling unable to apply her awareness to her current situation.

She will search for advice on how to move forward and not believe she “knows enough”.

But all this seems to do is camouflage the next step from presenting itself.

(This is a good indicator that her Child energy is activated and needs to *feel* more supported).

What she needs to do (especially if she’s worked with a coach or therapist) is bring her own Masculine energy online to witness the new discovery.

This is the bond of trust that is needed to be re-established for her to *feel* empowered and create different results.

When the inner Child feels supported by Masculine energy, it is able to share more information than simply the feelings of distress (anxiety).

Usually, when the trauma is unearthed, there is often also a need that went unmet.

Without *this* information, she will not be able to create the results she most desires.

What she needs most when she is wanting to create a new outcome is to uncover her Need.

I often advocate for a woman to “feeling her feelings” and that is still the first part of the process, but when she is able to identify what she’s needing, her Masculine energy will be set to the task of meeting it.

Knowledge without action leaves her feeling overwhelmed and helpless.

But when awareness becomes integrated, bolstered by her awareness and propulsive energy, it becomes actionable.

This is where the healing happens.

When her masculine energy sees a common pattern and steps in to create a strategy or solution for her to be supported, she shifts from her child energy to her Feminine energy (the grown-up version of her emotions).

“He” will create support structures that allow for more relaxation and less stress.

This will slow (or stop) the cycle that creates the anxiety because the Child’s Need is being seen as legitimate and will not be overlooked, as is usually her experience.

She becomes emotionally available to herself in this process.

Her femininity Arises.

This is important because mature men, the ones she’s looking to partner with, are able to *hear* Feminine energy.

Like a queen speaking, they take notice.

Her requests are digestible, actionable when she speaks from an empowered Feminine state.

They are coming from a state of congruence- her internal world and external world match- which reduces the feeling of urgency (men refer to as a "demand")

Inevitably, empowered men find creative solutions (they're actually REALLY good at this) in response to her requests because it feels like a fun challenge to attempt.

This builds an upward spiral for her because more of her needs are being met, which leaves her feeling better and better.

These lighter feelings and the ease with which she can reveal her needs are highly attractive to mature men.

When a woman is not connected to her needs, her child energy will have her make requests in a way that creates urgency instead of inspiration.

Because she feels so uncomfortable and unable to feel sturdy within herself, she will ask in a way that feels like a death grip.

This is what creates the distance she has experienced with men in the past when she “shares her needs”.

It is a painful dynamic to be in for both of them because it is triggering their most rudimentary instincts (make sure you get what you need/run from the threat).

But when she experiences men meeting her needs, it further reduces her anxiety about having or exposing them, even to herself and she is more willing to participate in partnership in a healthy way.

It is this positive feedback cycle that allows her to reveal her authentic self-the part of her men deeply desire to be around.

Instead of guessing, men can step in and be their best around her and this is what they want most in a connection- to feel like their efforts are not in vain.

Not only that, but that they are capable of facilitating positive experiences with/for her.

They love to know that the smile on her face is a result of something they had a part in.

This is why it is so important for a woman who is dating to find commitment is able to support herself from within.

It is from this stable position that she comes out of holding onto him for dear life and is able to participate in the dance of dating.

Not only that but it also allows her to experience (and complete the healing process) having more of her needs met and creating a healthy desire to partner- to thrive.

Helping women navigate the information they’ve unearthed from years of programs, coaches, and therapists and turn it into requests men can hear (and therefore act on) is my specialty.

In 4 weeks of module-based transformation, in my program Arise, I teach how to rebuild the trust within and relieve the pressure from the Child to “know right now” if this is The One. I include daily practices to turn self-awareness into actionable shifts so you can create a different outcome intuitively based on your discoveries.

This is available as a self-study option as well as a 1:1 model with a flexible coaching schedule so you can get the support when you need it most.

The women that get the most from working together have experience with dating and desire to create a deep, lasting partnership where both parties are able to grow and flourish.

In their journey, they have often gone to therapists and healers in the past but don’t feel confident in their ability to use the information they’ve collected and may wonder if what they want is even possible.

These women are highly empathetic and make great partners but want to find someone that is equally invested in them.

If you're ready to let go of the anxiety in new connections so you can "be yourself" on dates, email me (CSchandnutrition@gmail.com) to see if 1:1 support is the right fit for you!