If you're convinced you "blew it"... read this.

If you've found yourself getting frustrated in your journey to the healthiest, happiest version of yourself- whether it be through diet, exercise, or relationships- we could probably trace your feelings of urgency back to a story you hear in that moment.

The "but, he's the perfect man", "I can't believe I regained the weight- I'll never get rid of it", or "This exercise is hard- I think I'll stop for now"

We all have an interrupting thought that keeps us from taking the best actions to keep us on track toward our goals.

In dating, you feel the anxiety well up when he doesn't respond and you start to beat yourself up.

"It was something I did- or didn't- say/do."

And you are sure of it.

What if, however, this urgency you're feeling is in your own head.

I don't mean to minimize your experience, but what if you were the one that has the power to make it easier on yourself?

What if this urgency you're experiencing is simply a cue for you to shift your focus elsewhere?

Not to "I might as well eat whatever I want" or "Maybe if I reach out again, he'll remember I'm here".

But to something that feels good and that helps YOU FEEL GOOD.

You've probably had an experience where you feel great and "healthy choices" are easy.

This is the space you are aiming to re-achieve.

What you're doing each time you catch yourself in the moment and shift into something that feels better for you is you're actually reprogramming your mind.

On a subconscious level, when we feel urgent, we believe someone outside of our control has the power over the situation.

When you do something that feels good to you, you pull that power back into your own hands- which is where it belongs and always was meant to be.

You begin to feel empowered and trust that even when things feel uncomfortable, you're still in charge.

You make good choices AND you are in charge.

AND you make good choices when you're in charge.

These are the new beliefs you're teaching yourself.

Each of these subtle shifts also keep you out of the mindset that you need to feel guilty about what you did or didn't do/eat/say/etc.

I'm going to make a bold statement: Guilt isn't helpful in dieting, or in relating- with yourself or others.

It's just not.

Guilt smells of a subtle belief that you need to be punished for something.

It is simply an opportunity to shift into something else to move forward.

I have spent so many years feeling guilty for everything and all that has done is kept me tied to the mistakes of my past.

I'm offering this tool as an opportunity to step out of the old pattern and give you the crayons to color a new reality that you'd rather move forward in.

Think about it, is feeling guilty going to undo the macaroni and cheese I just overate- no.

Do I want to do it differently next time, yes.

I'm going to catch my judgement about my action, radically accept that I did it and choose to go for a walk- because it would feel nice to go outside- instead of sitting on the couch beating myself up.

This is so much easier said than done.

I realize this takes practice.

But I do believe that what we do repeatedly becomes who we are.

And if we can treat guilt as a redirect instead of a weapon for self-flagellation, we will actually move in the direction we want, faster and with a better experience.

What if you don’t need a carrot or a stick to reach your desired outcome…

I’d love to help you move through the process with clarity and ease, leave a comment and let me know where you’re feeling stuck.