The Effect of Trauma on How You Eat

There is a generational component often to weight as well that goes beyond simple genetics.

The behavioral way of eating is something we inherit too and, in my experience, has a greater impact on which genes get expressed.

This is what had me deepen my study of generational trauma because the physiology I learned as a Dietitian just wasn't enough to account for the whole picture with my clients. I wanted to help more and knew I needed more training.

I had a previous client (honestly, it happened enough that it wasn’t unique to one person so I don’t need to preserve their anonymity).

They came to me experiencing a seemingly uncontrollable appetite causing them to eat more than felt comfortable in their body.

Many of the clients I’ve worked with on overeating will eat due to either sadness/loneliness or anger/rage.

This is passed down generationally (if not directly from their parents, indirectly as the past few generations operated in the same way).

The damage can feel unique and yet, when we can get to the wound directly, the healing is transformative.

As I guided them into exploring the connection with one parent, in particular, it was evident that there was a deep gash that had not been appropriately acknowledged to build resilience.

(This can have a woman spend thousands of dollars and years of time trying to find a solution to these uncomfortable emotions).

When we looked at the energetics, the emotions that run the dynamic they were observing, it was clear to me that the wound was tied to the masculine energy in their life.

All of us have masculine and feminine energy so the particular parent is not always the best way to identify the injury.

I know this was a Masculine to Feminine wound (usually from dad to daughter- whether overtly or through misinterpretation, it is very painful to navigate on her own).

Because Feminine energy resists space, where the Masculine craves it especially when they are injured, women will attempt to create the feeling of support through fullness (using food, purchases, people time, etc) out of instinct.

Often, if they were to experience a normal amount of space the wound would rupture causing a lot of sadness and therefore overwhelm them.

This keeps many women from opening up to new connections and experiences because there is a not-so-unconscious memory of it being very painful that is lurking just beneath their awareness.

Instead, the gushing wound is easier to “treat” with food.

This particular injury was rooted in sadness which according to my first EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique/tapping) teacher, Margaret Lynch, is an indicator of loyalty (usually to a parent or community).

It takes away a woman’s desire to “fight” and she will go through life flattened (often experiencing depression) and secretly eating to maintain a feeling of fullness to mimic the support that would help her feel safe.

Sometimes the need to keep eating comes from the scarcity of food (as in the Depression/famine) but most of my clients experienced malnourishment emotionally.

There was a scarcity- real or perceived- of love and emotional connection with one or both parents (not to blame parents, sometimes this is misinterpretation or generational patterns they were not aware of either that kept them from being available for their child’s emotional needs).

Many of my clients experienced an acute trauma or many ongoing experiences of disconnection with their parent(s) and it left them confused.

Children bond with their parents from a state of total dependence and therefore these experiences have lasting impacts on their ability to mature and take care of themselves.

When a child vows to be loyal to a parent, trying to act differently as an adult will result in guilt and sadness that pulls them back into that original experience.

She isn’t overeating because of a character defect or lack of willpower, she’s eating because the grief feels like a bottomless cavern.

To have to turn toward the grief would feel like heartache and mean holding her parent accountable, but most children aren’t emotionally mature enough/ in a position to do that so they feel powerless and hurt.

Instead, the story that will often be internalized is a lack of love/support.

When we were able to witness the breakdown in connection with the Masculine, this little girl within had some questions that deserved to be asked.

Usually, they sound like “did you ever love/see me? (two core needs of the Feminine)” followed by tears.

It is heartbreakingly beautiful to witness this vulnerable side of her because this is when her own masculine energy gets to come in and create stability.

In my own experience, the anticipation of the initial sensation and experience are often most terrifying making them the most sensitive and likely to be avoided.

The sensation does not have to be experienced for long to relieve a lot of pressure.

But the corrective experience- being witnessed, compassionately seen, not fixed, etc- is what acts as sutures to allow the wound to heal.

By teaching her about her own masculine energy, “he” gets to come in and play the part of the world’s best dad and create a bond of trust within herself.

This empowers her to learn what support *feels* like and how she can experience it whenever she needs it, which will inspire those around her to contribute differently to her as well.

(They will not be surrogate parents for her and she will experience the love they uniquely desire to give).

When a woman can experience this sadness, she no longer needs to be loyal to this memory (often it is the only connection or last emotional experience she had with the parent before they left the scene physically or their relationship became robotic).

This frees her to stop creating the feeling of fullness because space is not as scary.

Usually, clients will report cleaning out their closets, rearranging their schedules, naturally eating the amount that feels good in their body because they realize the value of space.

It feels like calm instead of abandonment now.

Often clients that get to this point in the healing process will report their cravings feeling less overpowering and they can use the tools I’ve shared (mindful eating, filling their life with things they enjoy, boundary-setting, etc) more easily.

It is an intense but effective process for those that are ready.

Using energy shifting modalities I’ve been trained in seems to create the biggest shift with the most precision (even if there are tears involved, they are usually short-lived).

When a woman isn’t searching for love, she is free to collect it from all around her.

This is the benefit of an inside-out, outside-in approach to dieting and it is my specialty.

I built a digital program to facilitate this on your own time, Nourished. It includes the psychology of relationships, mindset and energetic shifts around the most common obstacles in food (tracking, the scale, plateaus, knowing what to eat and how much, etc), and tips/tools to increase awareness so food begins to support your mind, body, and soul.

If this feels like what you’re needing, I have my program Nourished on self-study (level 1) or with 1:1 coaching (level 2) for deeper healing like the one I mentioned above (I have 3 level-2 spaces open this month). Message me for more info about level 2 and I’ll help you get started.