What Needs to Shift So You Can Stop Hiding Behind Extra Weight

So many women think their eating pattern is a reflection of them- they believe they lack willpower like they have a major character defect- but what’s usually happening, in my experience, is they are standing on the precipice of something new.

A new version of themselves that they have not yet met.

The biggest, most visible version of who they were made to be (the one that says, “Yeah, I think I’m capable of more”, “I’m ready for a promotion… the book deal… my own practice”, “I want to put myself out there”).

Their subconscious mind is trembling and it’s showing up in the way they eat.

They eat as a way to create distance with their anxiety.

(The women that come to me are usually self-diagnosed "emotional eaters" and report loving food but aren't sure what to do about it except restrict it).

The mere act of chewing and the physiological response to the “comfort foods” they choose does have a calming effect so this behavior makes sense.

Because many women have had an experience of “being seen= unsafe”, it’s stored deep in their emotional memory bank (subconscious mind) and body that the Unknown is dangerous.

Anything outside of what she’s already survived will surely be fatal (this is simply how the mind works).

So she stays in situations that no longer feel comfortable for her to grow.

Like wearing shoes that are too small.

Instead of assuming there’s something “wrong” with her body, what she needs to do first is to heal the relationship with her own masculine energy.

This is the “narrator” of reality.

The voice of a wounded masculine energy leaves a woman feeling criticized and unworthy.

It can come from the diet industry or marketing, each has subtle ways of planting self-doubt, or most often, it comes from within.

The not-so-subtle jabs she takes all day that sound like “that’s it?”, “you should be doing X”, “you’re not making very much progress”, “you’re doing it wrong”.

These voices leave her body tense and void of creative solutions.

She’s stuck.

By contrast, the voice of an empowered masculine energy is masterful at reframing.

Not in a deceptive way, but in a truthful way, as someone that is on your team.

“He” will say things like “I’m proud of your effort” “this is new for you and you’re persistent”, “You did it!”, “I want what’s best for you, so let’s do X”, “You can go at the speed that feels best to you, there’s no rush”.

Feel how differently you would respond to this type of “coach”.

While your subconscious mind (the emotional storage bank) is feminine in nature, your conscious mind (the thoughts you think) is masculine in nature.

Like a relationship between a man and a woman, the masculine energy partner’s greatest gift is being grounded and supportive.

This allows the feminine energy partner to express her emotions vulnerably so her deepest needs can be seen and met with ease and without drama.

This requires courage.

The painful experience of being seen often leads my clients to “hide” their truest selves and their needs behind behaviors that tend to translate into extra weight.

Instead of expressing that she’s needing more time on a project, she will “push through” and eat at her desk or when she gets home as a way of “unwinding” from the added pressure (ask me how I know).

Or saying “yes” to so many activities because it feels good to be of service that her sleep gets squeezed out of the picture (my personal favorite‍).

This can also be hiding the desire to try something new because she is afraid to look foolish (also, familiar with this one ).

Since they’re paralyzed from taking the next step forward, the habits that got them to this point pile up as extra weight, and by the time they come to work with me it feels like all the plates are going to come crashing down.

My clients, while they speak to themselves (at the beginning) as though they are “fat” and “lazy”, are in fact high achievers that simply have a wounded masculine energy keeping them from being able to take that next step.

(Masculine energy by nature wants to protect us, in this case, it's simply misguided protection)

But when they begin to feel supported from within (her masculine energy) and able to express themself truthfully (her feminine energy), the habit of storing extra weight for the purpose of covering themselves is no longer necessary.

She moves about more freely in life because she is less afraid of being “vulnerable” and can move into the next phase of growth and, usually greater service to the world.

It is counterintuitive and I love watching this transformation.

Resistance to change is the greatest obstacle I see for clients which is exactly what we will cover in my group program, Nourished.

In 6 weeks of group transformational coaching and 6 self-study modules, we explore and rebalance the relationship between the masculine and feminine within yourself so you can feel more confident following your intuition when it comes to your eating.

There is an entire module with 2 healing practices and 2 written exercises to allow you to heal the root of the wounds within your masculine, feminine and inner child.

With “these three” empowered and working together, releasing the pressure to “do it right”, you will feel free to create a health plan that fits your needs and feels good (we’ll do this together).

As a bonus: I include strategies to plan meals that will be easier for you and your family, navigating the most triggering experiences of weight loss- the scale, plateaus, knowing what you need, and dealing with triggers around food and appetite.

The women that create the best results from this are naturally creative, ambitious, and service-oriented.

They have experience with yo-yo dieting and have lost weight but have difficulty finding a long-term solution.

She’s open to exploring her own internal world and is usually drawn to healing modalities but hasn’t been able to translate this into her health and relationships in her life.

The scale motivates her but she’s ready to feel good in her body instead of always aiming for a number.

If you are ready to go on your own, check this out on self-study on the packages page or if you’re looking to build some 1:1 support that meets your needs, email me (CSchandNutrition@gmail.com) and we can put together a plan to meet for higher levels of support (voice messaging, 1:1 coaching, etc) so you can get to the root of the deeper emotions and create the most dramatic results in the most compassionate way.